Haven’t blogged much this week. Dunno why. I guess I’ve been busy with a few things. I’m still pretty confused about what I’m giong to do with school. I called my buddy Chris last night, he sesems to be the ONLY one that really understands the decission that is ahead of me. I guess i some ways, I’m a little bit jealous of him. I’m not really jealous of his situation per se, but more about the fact that he knows where he’s going with school, and always seems to have known. Me? I’ve bounced back and forth between degree choices since I can remember. I’m glad that I’m still doing me generals though, cause changing your mind at the University level gets very expensive.
I’ve been giving some consideration to not going into psychology. I figure out recently that, in many ways, I burned myself for not getting in to school sooner than I did. Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking. Perhaps I just wasn’t. What it comes down to is the fact that I need to be set, doing whatever I’m going to do, by the time I’m thirty. Thrity even is an unreal expectation, cause my masters will take me ’till at least thirty-one. In order to really do ANYTHING with a psych degree, you have to have a doctoral degree. I mean, I could probably get by with a masters, but who knows. I’ve thought about going into Criminal Justice, but wonder if that would be a high burnout job. Chris suggested Occupational Therapy, which I may look into.
Work has been ok this week. They hired a new girl for tech support. I hope she works out. Things have been a bit strange lately though. I just feel lost at work. I mean, I have my place, I know what I’m doing, but I think a lot of what I’m going through now is just nostalgia. No, it’s not nostalgia, it’s me missing home. Most of the time, I’m not like this, but Fall is this way for me every year. There are so many thing that I miss about Salt Lake. It’s funny, I ran so hard from there when I left for here, but now I would do just about anything to be back. Of course, I would have to be AT LEAST in the situation that I’m in now; being able to support my family with only my income. I don’t know how possible that will be if/when I move back there.
I hate the fact that I don’t have any friends down here. I don’t have anyone that I can just go and hang out with. It’s really quite miserable. I think that Corinne is feeling much the same way. Moving to Salt Lake though, is not going to fix that. The people that I left behind when I left there are long gone and even if there were not, I am no longer the same person that I was when I left there. It’s all about making new friends I guess, which is something that I cannot seem to do lately. I think that it’s because I don’t have anyone that I have common interests with that who might be going through much of the same things that I am now. I guess that perhaps I’m not open, but I often fnd myself being afraid of what people might think when they find out who I “was”. Who knows. It may well be all in my head. What’s not in my head though, is the fact that I need to seriously figure out where I’m going and what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I’m afriad that if I don’t soon, things are going to get progressively harder. I certainly don’t need that.
