So, Sunday night, I had returned M&M home when Milaena told me about some problems she was having at school. We had discussed this briefly before, but never gotten into it heavily.
Apparently, these boys were teasing her and telling her that her hair was ugly. They would follow her around and bother her and when she would try to talk, they would tell her what she said didn’t matter. She was clearly concerned, with good reason. So, we set out to fix the problem.
In my therapy, I’m a huge proponent of modeling and role play. So, when discussing what to do, I modeled the behavior for her, asked her to repeat it, then gave her feedback. After a few times, she had it down pat. I would say bad things, she would reply with something along the lines of not wanting to talk to people that don’t say nice things, then walk away. When walking away, I would pursue her and continue the pestering. She would then turn around, look me straight in the eye, and indicate that if I did not stop following her, that she would alert the teacher. She would march away with such sass, that I had to really hold my laughter.
As you might guess I was happy to hear from her on Monday that she had in fact put the plan to action. She told me she did exactly what we practiced and then had actually alerted her teach (who I was glad to hear, took correct action). She repeated again Tuesday and called me last night to tell me they boys had stopped bugging her completely. I was so proud.
Of course, I understand the meaning of a five-to-six year old boy teasing a female peer, but I refrained from explaining this to Milaena. Regardless of his intent, there is just something in me that refuses to raise a daughter who is demure, passive, and prone to being walked on. I won’t do it. I understand this is likely the fist of many occasions where my advice may be needed, but I’m thoroughly prepared to help her through these situations and to do whatever necessary to ensure she continues coming to me for help.
